Recently, while talking to some good friends, the subject of parents came up. It was interesting to note that, although we all mentioned very different qualities about them, we did so with respect and admiration. Over the years, I have occasionally commented to my friends that Sergio, my older brother, and I would not have been able to study without the extraordinary financial sacrifices of our parents. I have continued to think a lot about my father since then, and with the perspective of the years, I have seen clearly that his legacy was much greater.
He was born in San Pedro de Alcántara, a small town on the coast of Malaga. He was the youngest of 12 siblings from a family of limited resources, so when he was orphaned at just 8 years old, he was sent to live with a married sister in Melilla. There, at that early age, he began to work as a “bellboy” or messenger boy in a bank. In his adolescence, he took some courses that allowed him to be promoted to bank officer. Those were all his studies, and for that reason and because of the immense love he always had for us, he promised himself that we would study. In those years in Spain, at the end of each year of study, you had to go to take an exam in the provincial capital if you did not live there. This meant that, in a one-hour exam in each subject, the grade for the whole year was determined. Only 21.5% of the students who studied high school did so in public schools, the rest went to Catholic schools or as independents. It is not surprising that only 3% of the students who started primary school in 1951 completed university studies in 1967 [i]. This explains why our parents, without financial means, sent us to boarding school in a Catholic school in Granada. The sacrifices I saw them make were so great, that the thought of telling my parents that I had failed a subject horrified me. Their four children completed university studies, two with doctorates.
I remember some anecdotes that always impressed me, and that partly describe his personality. When he was young, perhaps his love of nature led him to be part of a group of friends who frequently went to the countryside. Some hunted wild boar, although he did not hunt. He learned to swim on one of these excursions, when standing at the edge of a vertical cliff several meters high, a companion pushed him and threw him into the water. Two of his friends, who would one day become his brothers-in-law, were sons of German fathers, so during the academic year they went to study in Germany. Shortly after joining the group, one day they invited him to walk up Mount Gurugú, which is near Melilla. Not being in the same physical shape as the others, he arrived last, so he decided that this would not happen again. That winter, while his friends were away studying, he would get up between 3 and 4 in the morning and walk alone to the mountain, returning in time to shower and get to work at 8 in the morning. The following summer, when the group went back to the mountain again, he went up and down at a gymnastic pace, finishing much earlier than the others. Clearly his friends were from a better social and economic class, however, he knew how to adapt and stayed in the group. On another occasion he went to the sports stadium where one of his friends was doing athletics, something he had never done. Interested, he asked the friend if he could practice a little. I must clarify that, at 1.92 m tall and with an athletic build, he was not the typical Spaniard of that time. After a while, the coach who had noticed his innate ability, approached him and asked if he would be interested in training regularly under his supervision. He accepted and a few months later he participated in the Decathlon of the national championships in Madrid. Anyone who knows athletics will recognize the enormous natural talent and dedication needed to be able to achieve this.
From what I heard when I was a child, he was an excellent poker player, and he also bought lottery tickets, in which, although he usually won some small prizes, he was not always lucky. On one occasion, when we lived in Guadix, he went to buy a Christmas lottery ticket. He entered the shop followed by another buyer and already had one of the two tickets offered to him in his hand, when the seller mentioned that they were the last ones he had left. Upon hearing this, despite being first, he gave the other buyer the opportunity to choose. The other took the ticket he had originally selected, and which turned out to be the jackpot. Despite this, he remained a gentleman. Two qualities that Sergio inherited, but not I, were his ability to orient himself and a great ability to remember and recognize faces. I particularly remember one day when I was walking with him in Malaga when he suddenly turned and called out to someone, we had passed a short time before. When they said goodbye after talking for a while, my father recalled and commented that he had not seen this friend for more than 40 years. It was my inability in those areas, together with my enormous absent-mindedness from an early age, that always worried him about me. I heard him say it once, but there were many occasions when he looked at me wondering how I was such a good student despite what I lacked, which for him was vital.
My father loved nature and believed in the importance of being physically fit. For this reason, from a very early age, I think we started when we were four and a half and six respectively, my father took Sergio and me out to the countryside every weekend. We would cross forests, climb mountains, go to a water source, to streams… and if, when I was little, I got tired, I would climb onto his shoulders, and we would continue. During the week he would wake us up early to do basic Swedish gymnastics exercises, and sometimes he would teach us to box. We learned how to position and move our legs, how the twist at the waist is what gives power to the punch… he would put his hand out or tie a blanket around his waist so that we could hit him, and he would correct us. When we went to boarding school, our physical condition allowed us both to successfully represent the school in various sports.
I remember how he encouraged us to be independent, to face new things without fear, no matter how difficult they were. We were 11 and 13 years old when he sent us alone to spend a holiday with his family in Melilla. The trip consisted of going by bus from Guadix to Granada, then taking the train to Almería, where we were supposed to stay in a boarding house, but Sergio and I decided to spend the night sleeping against a wall in the port to save the money for the boarding house, and finally taking the boat in the afternoon to arrive in Melilla the next day. In the summer of 1960, when we were 12 and 14, we were encouraged to go and see the remains of an American DC-4 plane that had crashed in March with 24 passengers. The plane crashed at 3000 m on the south side of the Sierra Nevada, with Jerez del Marquesado being the nearest town. We set off alone on bicycles the 18 km from Guadix to Jerez del Marquesado, where we left our bikes and continued on foot up the mountain to reach the plane. On the way back, one of my bike’s tires punctured, which delayed us quite a bit. When we got home, my mother was worried, but he was calm; he knew we would do it. When I was 10, I was practicing the French language I was studying, offering to be a guide to French tourists who came to visit the town; of course, he thought it was a good idea. When I was 12, he sent me for two days alone to Granada, a city I didn’t know, to visit my brother who was in a boarding school. I traveled alone by hitchhiking on several occasions. Although I could go on listing unusual activities for children in which he encouraged us to participate, I trust that those already mentioned give a clear idea of how he brought us up. The maturity we acquired through his “training” must have been easily appreciated, for at the end of my first year as a boarder, I was chosen to be the “superior” or in charge of a class of middle school students for the next class, which carried a full scholarship. I was the youngest superior in the history of the school. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Sergio and I both, held leadership positions over the years. I was always a good student, but now, after teaching for 42 years, I’ve seen many very intelligent students who never finish. That’s why I know that, in addition to intellectual ability, determination and willpower are essential when it comes to success. At this point in my life, I clearly remember many occasions when I have had to face serious difficulties, and I have no doubt that it was the tenacity and self-confidence that my father wisely helped me develop that has allowed me to survive successfully.
I end this note by thanking you with all my heart, Dad, for your love, for your sacrifices, for your dedication and for your wisdom in giving us everything that helped us succeed in life. I will continue to ask the Lord, every night, that one day we can meet in his presence.
[i] EDUCACIÓN EN ORCASUR: Así era la educación en la España de los años sesenta.Dialnet-LaDemandaDeEducacionUniversitariaEnEspana19602000-250849.pdf
